So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
