I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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