Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
