Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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