Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
