pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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