Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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