I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
my shit smells like andre
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
