you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize