I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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