Kiss
Puke
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
