Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
