Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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