I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
