Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
