Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
