I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
