dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
