i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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