I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
