Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
should my penis look like a turkey
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
