Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
