I need help removing her.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Randomize
