We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
