He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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