So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
