I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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