I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
