Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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