so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize