I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
