Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
