Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize