So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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