Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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