Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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