This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
