my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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