You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
