I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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