I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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