It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
