I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
They took my balls.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
