i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
