yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
