i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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