so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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