Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
