I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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