i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
