I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
