Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
