I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
