the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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