I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
