Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
