Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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