I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
