In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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