wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize