watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
