That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
